If you’re a regular visitor to NourishedMinds.com, then you know I’m determined to change people’s perception of social workers. Not all social workers work in public child welfare distributing aid or investigating abuse. Those characters you see in the movies or on TV are not at all reflective of who social workers are and what we do.
The reality is that social workers are counselors, therapist, hospital administrators, advocates, policymakers, researchers, business owners, and authors. Sometimes, we’re a combination of these roles. And I know I’m somewhat biased, but I believe it is the fact that we can wear many different hats that makes us uniquely equipped to help individuals and communities.
So, whenever I discover a social worker, therapist, or mental health professional that has some knowledge that I know will benefit the Nourished Minds’ community, I feel this overwhelming urge to spread the word.
Good sound advice is not that easy to find in a world where just about everyone has a blog or an opinion. I know it’s especially difficult for parents to find the professional advice they need. Which is why I wanted to share this resource with every parent out there struggling with raising children in the age of entitlement.
Today’s children lack the coping skills and mental strength needed to navigate this complicated, scary world. While most books tell parents what to do, psychotherapist Amy Morin has written a book that teaches parents what “not to do,” to raise mentally strong youngsters.
Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker and best-selling author. You may have heard of her from her popular Ted Talk. I’m highlighting her and sharing some gems from her book because I think the advice that she is offering up to parents is priceless. In her latest book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, she shares practical advice for helping your child to develop the skills they need to flourish socially, emotionally, behaviorally, and academically.
To give you a little taste of what I’m talking about, I picked 5 of the most common parenting mistakes she discusses. I’ve also included a brief explanation on how these behaviors undermine your parenting goals.
- Condoning a Victim Mentality
Striking out at the baseball game or failing a science test doesn’t make a child a victim. Rejection, failure, and unfairness are a part of life. Teaching your child healthy ways to respond can strengthen their confidence.
- Parenting Out of Guilt
Kids learn by watching and testing boundaries. They watch to see how you behave and react. They test as a way to explore the boundaries of your authority, rules, and your relationship.
They also watch to see how you respond to guilt or how you use guilt to get your way. Then they test this out themselves.
When you give in to guilt or use it, they learn a powerful tool to use against you and others. They may also become conditioned to being manipulated by guilt.
- Making Your Kids the Center of the Universe
If you make your entire life revolve around your kids, they’ll grow up thinking everyone should cater to them. This creates self-absorbed, entitled adults who will struggle in the real world.
I love the advice Amy Morin shares about teaching kids to focus on what they have to offer rather than what they should expect to receive.
- Giving Your Kids Power Over You
An example of this is when you let your kids dictate how things run in the household or have them make important family decisions.
She points out that most children, especially young ones, are not developmentally ready for this power. When you give them this power when they are young, they expect it as they age.
Kids need to understand authority. They need practice and it should start with you.
- Feeling Responsible for Your Kids’ Emotions
You want to comfort them but many parents take ownership of their child’s emotions instead. You may feel the need to cheer them up, calm them down, or tell it will be okay. However, your child is far more likely to develop resiliency when you just support them through the process of learning how to soothe, comfort and calm themselves.
To read all of Amy’s great advice, buy a copy of her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do today!
To hear a more in-depth review of Amy’s book along with my professional insights, listen to the Nourishing Bits Podcast episode: Are You Stunting Your Child’s Emotional Resilience?
If you’d like information on how to protect your child and manage their life online, be sure to get a copy of my book, Empowered Parenting
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